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Death Battle: Slenderman vs Jeff the Killer
Description It's creepypasta duel here on Death Battle! Either of these two may be behind you right now... waiting... waiting to kill you. Interlude Wiz: Creepypastas. They are the horror stories that circulate the internet, terrorizing innocent surfers with tales of gore, horror and death. Boomstick: So be sure not to be wearing pants during this Death Battle, because we got two of the most famous creepypasta icons taking each other on. Wiz: Slenderman, the blank-faced abomination of Slender Woods... Boomstick: And Jeff the Killer, the deformed serial killer who puts you to sleep forever. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Slenderman Wiz: Deep in a mysterious forest with an ambiguous past lives a demonic creature whose very name brings chills to all who hear it. Boomstick: And this creature is none other than the Slenderman. Depending on the way you look at him, he's either a child molester, a serial killer, or just a guy in a Men in Black suit. Wiz: No one knows where this abomination came from, but what we do know is that he is a manifestation of demonic energy, in an odd human-shaped form. He roams the Slender Woods in hopes of brutally murdering those who dare trespass, or worse, take the notes scattered about on the trees. Boomstick: Does this guy have a diary or something? Wiz: Probably. Anyway, Slenderman constantly follows his victims, just not always in plain sight. If you ever find yourself in Slender Woods, there's a high chance that Slenderman is standing right behind you. Boomstick: Well that's enough to make me paranoid as hell! Wiz: Slenderman's presence alone is so filled with negative energy that it can make even the most daring people on edge with paranoia. It doesn't help that he can teleport at any given moment to one's exact position and go in for the kill from there. Boomstick: Man, if that wasn't scary enough, I wanna know how this guy kills people! Wiz: No one knows. Rather than outright murdering his victims, Slenderman instead prefers a little bit of victim cooperation. He likes to teleport behind his victims to give them paranoia and to bait them into trying to run away, then appears right in front of them to go for the kill. Slenderman also requires that his victims directly look at his face, and after about a second-and-a-half of looking at him, his victims die an ambiguous death with the last thing they see being Slenderman's faceless head. Boomstick: Holy shit that's terrifying! Anything else? Wiz: Slenderman is also a very tricky and crafty opponent. As if his implied presence wasn't enough to keep someone on their toes, he becomes more and more aggressive as his opponents progress through the woods. He scatters random notes throughout and with each one his victim finds, he appears to that victim more and more. Rather than calling it off when his victim finds all of them, he decides to pull out all the stops and appear directly in front of the victim, and then almost assure himself a kill. Boomstick: Mother of-! Wait, Wiz, you said 'almost'. What does that mean? Doesn't looking at Slenderman directly cause instant death? Wiz: Not exactly. If one looks away from him before a second-and-a-half ends, he won't be able to do anything. Slenderman's biggest, and with that, only disadvantage is mobility. If one is looking at Slenderman through his or her peripheral vision, it's considered looking at him and also not looking at him directly. As such, he will not be able to move or go for the kill. This would very obviously put Slenderman in a very bad position. Boomstick: And some guy with a flashlight managed to outsmart him and collect all eight notes. Wiz: Even then, Slenderman came in and went for the kill, so it wasn't a total loss for Slenderman. Even though Slenderman may have his own faults and isn't the most mobile combatant in the world, he's still quite the creepypasta monster. Slenderman kills the player. Jeff the Killer Wiz: Once upon a seemingly innocent time, a young boy named Jeffery "Jeff" Woods and his family moved to a fancy neighborhood after Jeff's father got a well-paying job. All seemed nice and happy, then one day Jeff and his little brother Liu were confronted by three trouble-making teenagers. Boomstick: Actually, "trouble-making" was a bit of an understatement: These teens tried to kill Jeff and Liu. Teens are monsters indeed. Wiz: However, Jeff snapped in a rage and brutalized all of them until they ran off in a hurry. The police soon found out about this, and in a moment of confusion, Liu confessed to being the kid who beat them up even though he wasn't. This made Jeff very angry, and a little sad. And that's where his story really starts. A few days later, he went to a birthday party he and his parents were invited to. After a few minutes of enjoying himself, the three teenagers who tried to kill Jeff and Liu before showed up just to cause trouble - and get revenge. Boomstick: Jeff engaged in a brutal fight with the three teenagers and things didn't go so well for him. Wiz: He got glass smashed in his face and on his head, and afterwards nearly burned to death. He made a full recovery rather soon, except his face was rather... deformed. Boomstick: You call that DEFORMED?! He looks like the freakin' love child of Michael Jackson and The Joker! That's scary as shit! Wiz: And not only was his face messed up, but his mind was permanently damaged as well. He ironically killed Liu, the very person he was trying to protect in the first place. It was then that he would be known as Jeff the Killer, a name that many would soon fear and cringe at. Boomstick: This is sounding suspiciously like the origin story of Freddy Krueger. Wiz: Except Jeff didn't die. Boomstick: Being a Freddy Krueger knockoff aside, Jeff the Killer finds children who are sleeping, then waits for them to wake up in the middle of the night. The last thing they see is that Joker-Michael Jackson face and the last thing they hear is a chilling "Go to sleep" before they are instantly killed by his knife. Then he makes his escape before the inevitable police arrival. Man, he's gotta be REALLY high on the most wanted list for that! Wiz: Speaking of which, Jeff was also stalked for eleven years by someone who witnessed his brawl during the birthday party, Jane. Jane followed Jeff around for eleven years, studying his patterns, his weaknesses, and his methods. The impressive part comes in here. Jane made an attempt on the perfect way to kill Jeff: by luring him into a house, then lighting it on fire while it was covered in bleach and alcohol. Boomstick: But Jeff was having none of it and lured Jane in there and got her killed in her own trap. Jeff deserves some serious credit for outsmarting someone that quickly, especially considering that Jane had eleven years' worth of information on him. That must have been embarrassing for Jane. Wiz: Like any serial killer, Jeff wields a knife which he can use to stab and slash his victims to death. Boomstick: And thanks to his inability to close his eyes thanks to the birthday party incident, his other senses have been heightened. However, since Jeff can't close his eyes, he likely suffers from poor eyesight. Wiz: Jeff is also pretty darn clever. Like the time he got Jane killed in her own trap, someone who had been stalking him for eleven years. And unlike Freddy Krueger, Jeff actually survived being burned alive and getting glass smashed in his face. Boomstick: But as I said, it's likely that Jeff's eyesight isn't very good. ' ''Wiz: Also, Jeff's state of mind is absolutely horrible. If his sanity slips any further, he could lose control of himself completely and start doing things without regard for his own life. Finally, all Jeff has is a knife, which has very short reach and makes an improbable throwing weapon. Still, Jeff has shown to accomplish the impossible and may very well seize this battle. Jeff the Killer: Go to sleep. Announcement Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. '''Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A CREEPYPASTA DEATH BATTLE! DEATH BATTLE! Jeff the Killer is reading a map and he wanders into the Slender Woods. He sees a note hanging on a tree and he grabs it. He turns around to see Slenderman standing behind him. FIGHT! Jeff instantly runs towards Slenderman, but suddenly gets a weird feeling about it as he looks at him. He realizes that looking directly at Slenderman causes him pain, then he runs off. Slenderman teleports away. Jeff: (To himself) Did looking at that thing just... cause me pain? As Jeff thinks about this, he pulls another note off the window of a truck. Jeff turns to see Slenderman in front of him. Jeff covers his eyes as he runs toward Slenderman to stab him, but misses because he can't see him. Slenderman teleports away. Jeff: Keep still so I can kill you! Slenderman then teleports in front of him. Jeff covers his eyes and tries to stab Slenderman again, but Slenderman teleports behind him. Jeff turns around and finally slashes Slenderman, making him bleed black blood. Slenderman teleports before Jeff can deliver the killing stab. Jeff: Goddamnit! How am I supposed to kill him?! Jeff searches for Slenderman, knife ready. Jeff: Come out, come out, wherever you are! Jeff's insanity is clearly starting to take effect. He then discovers what appears to be a bathroom of some kind. Jeff: Perfect! I'll make my kill here! Jeff laughs maniacally then runs into the bathroom, then finds another note on the mirror. He waits for Slenderman to show up, but he doesn't. Jeff: What's taking him so long?! Jeff runs out of the bathroom and calls for Slenderman. Jeff: I'm over here! If you wanna kill me, you gotta come here! Slenderman then teleports in front of him. Jeff: Finally! Jeff runs into the bathroom, knife ready. Slenderman teleports in front of him. Jeff: Go to sleep! Jeff finally manages to stab Slenderman in the stomach. But Slenderman teleports, blocking the entrance. Jeff: I said GO TO SLEEP! Now completely insane, Jeff runs at Slenderman to stab him. Static then appears on the screen with Slenderman looking at the camera. The screen then turns black. K.O.! Results Boomstick: Gimme a moment, Wiz. Boomstick leaves and defecates in a toilet. Boomstick returns. Boomstick: Now that I got that out of the way, let's explain why Slendy won. Wiz: Jeff may have had the edge in intelligence and durability, but his insanity resulted in his downfall. It doesn't help that Slenderman could always teleport to avoid being stabbed by Jeff. Boomstick: Slenderman's Insta-kill spells certain doom for Jeff and once Jeff goes insane, he does things without regard of his own life, like charging at Slenderman to deliver a killing stab. Wiz: And while Jeff has managed to kill many people without ever getting caught, Slenderman has experience in killing humans all his life. Boomstick: Sure Jeff's insanity prevents paranoia and fear, but once Slenderman unleashed the Insta-kill on him, it was all over. It wasn't very KNIFE of Slenderman to make me have to go take a shit. Wiz: The winner is Slenderman. Advantages & Disadvantages Slenderman + Insta-kill is... well, instant + Teleportation abilities would be a huge trump card + Has experience in killing humans all his life + Could technically kill Jeff faster + Much more difficult to kill + Also very crafty, just not on the same level as Jeff - Can't scare Jeff due to his insanity - Less durable - Has little combat experience - Mobility was a big issue - Requires Jeff to look at him to kill him Jeff the Killer + Smarter + More durable + Insanity prevents paranoia and fear + Actually has combat experience + Held a HUGE mobility advantage - Still human - Knife has very short reach - Lacks the ability to teleport - Slenderman could technically kill Jeff faster - Has less experience in killing - Insta-kill spells certain doom for Jeff Next Time Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle! A group of mutated and reanimated corpses wander around mindlessly through the oddly hive looking area of the United Systems Military Auriga, unaware they had already been spotted by the inhabitants of the hive. Four black eyeless aliens are seen sneaking up on the intruders, silently climbing the walls that they blend into. They slowly make their way to the corpses until they are right above them. With a loud screech, the aliens leap down onto the intruders, but they are somehow able to react in time. The aliens hiss at the intruders, but the hissing does little to make them back up. They advance on the aliens, as they have the number advantage. Suddenly, more aliens tear down a metal pressure door leading into the room in order to join their allies. Category:Death Battles